Tuesday, July 2, 2013

"The Special Mother" by Erma Bombeck

Several months ago at a neurology appointment with Jax, one of the nurses who has been seeing Jax since our first visit quietly closed the door behind her and preceded to hand me this article. She said that she keeps this article on file and gives it out to moms when she feels necessary. I waited until I got home to read it and I am so glad I did because it is a definite tear jerker. Some of you mothers with special needs children may have already read this article but if not it is beautiful.

(Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year nealry 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen?)
Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth-Son-Patron Saint, Matthew." "Rutledge, Carrie,-twins-Patron Saint...Give her Gerard, he's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. " Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She is so happy."
"Exactly, could I give a handicapped child a mother who doesn't know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have patience?" asked the angel.
" I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she will handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self, and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world, and that's not oing to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you!"
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect, she has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps. "Selfishness, is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occaisionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says "Momma" for the first time she will be witness to a miracle and know it. When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty, predjudice-- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing My work as surely as she is here by My side."
"And what of her Patron Saint?" asked the angel, his pen poised in midair.



God smiles. " A Mirror will suffice."